Thursday, December 31, 2009


Tomorrow is the beginning of the New Year. This is the first New Year's Eve I've ever spent alone. I got off work early, came home, plopped myself on the couch, and spent the afternoon and evening eating and watching TV... Ellen, Oprah, the news, Entertainment Tonight, Bones, and I don't know what else. Too much TV. I was feeling a little depressed about being alone. I ate an entire plate of homemade nachos first thing. Later I heated up a Trader Joe's frozen Paneer Tikaa Masala (fair), and then later downed a hunk of ciabatta spread with butter and some fried Tofurky Italian sausage (soy, for those not in the know... it's really very good). All comfort foods, blobbing out in front of the TV.

The highlight of all this was a Skype video call with Saki & Kris, and my granddaughter Cassie. I had been so immersed in feeling sorry for myself I'd completely forgotten today was her first birthday (I do have a bit of an excuse... we are all flying out in a couple weeks to celebrate and I have had that date so much in my head I lost track of the present). I can hardly believe though, even with that wonderful excuse, that I forgot her birthday. It just shows how asleep my brain is; as though I had turned myself off.

Finally I turned off the TV. It was around 9 PM and I remembered I'm driving to L.A. tomorrow and am going to play in the rainsabai kirtan late tomorrow night... so I had better figure out what I'm going to play and practice.

The last shabd I went through was Maanas kee Jaat Sabeh, from the Akal Ustat of Guru Gobind Singh Ji. Such a completely universal truth contained in this shabd and I'm sort of taking it as my hukam for the New Year.

I felt energized after playing, and remembered a day about 20 years ago, when I led this shabd at the Santa Ana gurdwara. The Siri Singh Sahib was there along with about 20 others from L.A. Out of all the times I've played this shabd, that was the epitome. It a perfect moment in time. The energy was amazing, my voice didn't crack, and Oneness was experienced.

The words "Ek Ong Kar" are often translated as "There is One Creator who Created the Creation." These were the first three words spoken by Guru Nanak when he stepped out of the river (literally "One Creator Creation"). He had disappeared into the river three days earlier, and when he emerged he was in an absolute state of bliss and realization. In the ecstasy of that realization, his first three words were "Ek Ong Kar." It seems to me, when I meditate on these words and imagine the experience of realization that he had in meditation... emerging from that he would be saying "God is One!! We are One!!" which is significantly different than the rather boring statement, "There is one God who created everything." That statement also implies separation, that God is some entity outside of us, outside of all that is.

In other words, I think we could use a better translation... God is ONE! Creator and Creation are ONE!

And that brings me to the translation of "Maanas Kee Jaat Sabeh..." the whole entire shabd. Try reading this aloud and let the words soak into your being...

Some are clean-shaven, some become renunciates and yogis.
I recognize all as One.

God Almighty, the Doer, who gives food, is merciful.
There is no other than Him. He doesn't make any mistake.
Do service to the One and only One.
Everyone's transparent Guru is One.
He has one face; know in all there is One Light.

The gurdwara and mosque are the same.
Some do puja and nivaj [various religious practices]
All people try to impress their way on others.

Prophets, super prophets, super super prophets, those of heaven, Mohammedans, those of all different countries and ways of dress try to impress their way on others.

Similar eyes, similar ears, similar bodies, similar speech: the dust, air, fire and water will mix together.

God is formless. The Puranas and Koran are the same; all forms are the same. All are made as One.

Just as some flames are formed and flames are different, but the fire is one when mixed.

Just as in one dust there are many particles; when at rest they are mixed into the same one.

Just as from one sea there are many different waves and there are small wrinkles on the water... when waves dive down it is called water.

Similarly, the world forms many forms; the invisible and seen are manifested. That from which all are sprung, into That all will again merge.

So many amphibians and fish swallow each other.
So many tortoises manifest, sprout wings, and fly.
So many birds fly in the sky that eat each other, digest, and die.

All of those in water, land and sky were made by the Lord of Death
and will be eaten by the Lord of Death.

Just as light vanishes into darkness and again the darkness merges into light --
That from which all emerges, into That all vanishes again.

Well, I've got about 5 minutes left of 2009 and this is my last post of the year.

May 2010 be a year where we drop fear, anger, doubt, and old destructive patterns. May it exceed 2009 in every wonderful way, and may we realize our true potentials and let them fully blossom. May we know ONENESS, may we SERVE, may we be GRATEFUL for every moment of this beautiful life and live them all fully. May we be GIVERS. May we speak from our HEARTS and LIVE COMPASSIONATELY. May we enjoy our loving relationships and nurture new ones. And may all insomniacs enjoy restful sleep.

Happy New Year!

Monday, December 7, 2009

This is not writer's block

I just don't feel like writing, and feel like I have nothing to say, or whatever I have to say isn't interesting enough to write about, or it's nobody's business but mine.

Where is my muse???